Open Letter to Everyone Who Has a Relative, Friend, Colleague, Acquaintance, Neighbor Or Everyone Else Who Knows A Bar Flunker
I am writing this letter to express my sentiments as a former bar flunker. Through this small gesture, I sincerely hope that I will be an instrument in expressing the same or similar sentiments of fellow bar flunkers. There were 5 important sentiments I had as a former bar flunker :
- Please do not ask me why I did not make it. I do not know the answer. I am more confused than you are. All I know is that the hard work, sleepless nights, months of preparation, expenses I incurred and problems that beset me during the review fell short; hence I failed.
- Please do not compare me with fellow bar examinees who made it. This is like rubbing lime to a fresh wound. Pure torture. Yes, I am happy for them but I am obviously sad, in fact, grieving for myself. Comparing me to them will only hurt my self-esteem even more. That is the last thing I need.
- Please lend me your listening ear. I need someone with whom I can express all my emotions and sentiments freely, without fear of being judged. Someone truly ready to listen. Someone who will sincerely help me unload the emotional burdens I am carrying. More often, I only need a good listener than someone who gives good advice.
- Please tell me that you are here to support me in these trying times. I need full support in whatever way you can. You can ask me what I need or how I want to be supported. I may be unreachable at first, but please continue showing me your support. Once I have finally accepted my unfortunate circumstance, I will respond to you.
- Please be patient with all my mood swings, emotional issues, self-esteem issues and the like. Being a lawyer is my dream and failing to reach it, is too much for me to bear. It is as if my world is crumbling before my eyes and I am powerless to do anything. All I can do is cry.
By expressing these 5 important sentiments which I believe fellow bar flunkers can resonate with, it is my hope that the hearts of everyone who knows a bar flunker will be touched. I hope that they will be more empathetic, patient and understanding of the needs of the bar flunker they know.
*This article is written by Atty. Idamae Fajardo, a former bar flunker, who is now a lawyer with 7 years experience.